148 days without Adam :(

So far through this deployment I can't believe how fast it has flown by! Some days seem longer then others to me, but in general it was shimmied on by.. However, Adam wouldn't say the same thing. For him with the retro grade (pulling out) it has been slower and (boring) then what he is used to doing. He would rather be kept busy out on missions then sitting around waiting for time to click off the clock. I'm glad he isn't as busy at the same time, but I don't like him to get bored because if you know Adam at all then you know he can't stand to be idle unless he is watching a good sports game..

For those that haven't heard the end of July Adam was told that he would be leaving country and ending his deployment in October!! YAYA!! I had been hearing November since he got there but I've learned not to get my hopes up.. This time how ever I got the for sure! We will get Adam home for Christmas after all!! Now this is the hard part because I don't really know when he will be here not until he is on the plane so there really is no countdown date just a general time.

I've learned a few things this deployment that apparently I needed too. First of all I am NoT super woman!! Why did I try to be???????? HA!! I know we all try. Second, I learned its okay to tell people NO and not feel bad about it. Lets face it I'm not super woman I already established that.. ;) Third, don't bother saying to someone "let me know if there is anything I can do to help." Lets face it,  its lame and most of the time you don't mean it and yes it gets you off the hook because they will never call you..

Let me focus on #3 for a minute mainly for my own good. I love that I have so many wonderful friends and neighbors who have been a huge blessing to me these last 5 months. I literally couldn't have made it without them.. Especially my friend Ammy!! She came to visit family this summer from Florida and help me work my new business.. But not only that I am so grateful for all that she did for me and I'm sure she didn't even realize it. She made me feel human again and demanded I take some time to myself to get a massage that my friend Veronica :) had given me months before. She was also there during the 4th of July holiday and generally just being here for me whenever I needed her. To me that is service. When you serve someone its not by saying "let me know if there is anything I can do to help" then secretly hoping there isn't.. Yeah I know I've been guilty of that too. But true service is seeing a need and just doing it.. Jake and Abish Sanderson are those kind of people. Not once but twice they mowed or should I say tried to mow my lawn for me when it was getting to long. It really is a jungle.. haha.. Abish has been there for me for everything.. It really makes a difference having them because Jake actually serves in the same unit with Adam here in Utah and they are good friends. I'm sure my neighbors look at my yard and think "my word" why doesn't she take care of her weeds they are like three feet high! UGGHH..I know I do.  Then my aunt and uncle Marty and Lisa come up for Memorial day to visit Megan and see my jungle growing crazy and weeds everywhere. So what do the do? Get right to work. So amazing their examples to me. . Yeah I know. I really miss having Adam around taking care of the yard. He is going to be really sad to see how bad it really is.. I have cried many times over this too because yes it should be that easy to take care of it but I can't!! Taking care of a home on the inside with Children and a couple of businesses are hard enough. When I hear that "let me know if there is anything I can do to help".. I just want to say do you really mean it because I have mounds of clothes piled high in my room and dishes on my counter that you have seen even though you have been in my home for a couple of hours and not once said anything, not that I expect them too but really that is what needs done. And a basement to organize before Adam gets home. Sorry I blubbering, I don't mean this to sound like I'm ungrateful because I'm not, not at all so so so many people help out all the time. I'm just hoping this will make a difference with someone else because I know it has for me. I can't forget my sweet Tesha. Tesha and I have been through these deployments together from the very start. Her and Matt were off and on during the first deployment to Iraq and she was right there for me helping with Keplar when he was a baby and my sister and family of course. They all stepped up and it was truly amazing to feel so much love and support. Anyways back to this deployment, Tesha dropped by the other night after going to the temple.. It was 9:30pm and I just got the kids to bed and was getting ready to do my nightly clean up. I brought clothes to the front room to fold and I had to finish up the dishes. Well my little angel comes right in and plops her self down in the middle of my couch with all my clothes and starts folding away. I was picking up stuff and stopped and looked at her and just started crying. Here she was folding my clothes and chatting away just like old times  and it was exactly what I needed. She was here truly serving me without asking what she could do to help. She saw the need and just did it!! That is service right there. You see the need and just do.

I never want to forget these examples and the feeling I had with them I did write more details in my journal but I want these people to know how much they have impacted my life and how grateful I am for the countless prayers have been said on behalf of Adam's safety and for me and the kids. I know I couldn't be as strong without them..  Today if you don't do nothing else, do one act of service for someone. Don't ask just do. I have been trying to do better at this. I make it a point each day to find the one person I'm prompted to help or some way do something for them. It really is amazing the places I find myself without realizing it.

 I don't have anything left say at this point. I need to do better keeping up with these. It has been a rough few days however. Last Saturday I had the worst day ever, I accidently ran over our kitten Tig. For those that have been following me on Facebook and instagram would know that this wasn't just any type of kitten. He was Keplar's, Kyly's and mine's pure joy!! He was from the recent batch of kittens Mischief my momma cat had in March. I could tell right away he was special. He wiggled his way into our hearts. He has been a constant companion and friend for us. We even let him come play with us in the house :) and not only that I took him up to my parents in Idaho for a week and he stayed around and was more then happy to come home. Then Saturday morning as I was leaving to run some errands with Kyly I hadn't known he got up into the wheel well of the car. By the time I got out to the main road and picked up speed it was to late. my tires got him and I ran him over. I was, am!! so devasted when I looked back and saw that it was him. I'm so angry at myself that I let that happen. I can't even drive by the place without getting all the emotions coming back and the sadness and the guilt of it all. I had to bury him and that hole in the dirt seemed so insignificant for such a special kitten. He brought so much joy and happiness to our lives while we have been missing Adam. I have had a lot of cats and there is not one that has ever compared to him. Although, his death brought about a teaching opportunity for the Keplar and Kyly it has not been easy at all to get over. Even right now I am shaking with rolling sobs. I'm grateful for a wise heavenly father to creating such animals for our spirits.. Animals really do have a calming healing nature. I also know that he will be in heaven waiting for us to return along with all my other animals. I can't wait for that day to see them all again.

For now thank you everyone for you love and support and prayers.. It really means a lot to us all.

Love, Mandy

First day of school 8/20/13 : Keplar 3rd, Kyly Kindergarten

Kyly with Tig after her first day of Kindergarten